wow, my life is awkward.

So much of my time these days is spent being the extra wheel. I'm the single one, as usual, but it seems more pronounced these days. I guess I don't really mind that much, but it's been getting subtly more annoying each time.

All last year I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I've never had a boyfriend. I was thinking that I must be a loser because I'm 20 and single, but this summer I really got over that. I wasn't gonna say it, because I will sound silly to most people, but I have the Jonas Brothers to thank for that. Why, you ask? Well, I don't personally know them, but since around March, I've been paying more attention to the things that they do, and the way they live their lives. Through all of that, I've gained more confidence in myself, and I know that it will be ok. Even though I'm single, it doesn't mean I'm a loser. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. It just means that I haven't found the person God has planned for me. And I can deal with that. I feel much better about my situation.

Recently, though, the old feelings started coming back. I think that's because most of my single friends did study abroad programs this year, and now I'm here with all my friends who are in serious relationships. It made me feel a little bit inferior. Honestly, though, what is helping me now is Demi Lovato's new cd. That sounds just as silly as the Jonas Brothers comment, but it's true. She may only be 16, but she knows what it feels like to feel inferior, and not feel pretty. I can relate to her, and her music really is something that I understand. That's why I feel grateful to her.

Too bad I'll probably never get to tell any of them exactly how they've helped me realize who I am. They'll never know how much they've done for my confidence. But that's ok, because even if they don't know, I will. And that's the important part. Nothing else really matters.

I guess that's the end of this rant. That's where I am in my life currently.

The End.