I know it all, don't know a thing. I am changing, still the same...

I'm every color. I'm every color. I am Evergreen.

I am currently in love with that song. I think it's called Evergreen, and it's an unreleased song from the most recent Backstreet Boys album, Unbreakable. It's pretty incredible.

Anyway, recently I've been realizing just how incredibly important my friends have been this semester. The people I've spent 90% of my time with in the last few months have been an awesome influence. I'm not saying that my other friends aren't awesome, because they are. But I've realized just how special the ones I'm currently around are. They have helped me and encouraged me to be a better person, and to figure out exactly who I am. Some of the other people in my life just want me to like the things they like and to be into the things they want me to be into. I want to be myself, and I want to stand up for the things I believe. If I don't want to drink with you, I'm not going to, regardless of how guilty you might try to make me feel. I care about ALL of my friends, but there are some I trust more than others to just let me be myself. There are things I will stand my ground on.

At my school, we have this wonderful thing called J-term. The month of January is spent in one class everyday, for about 3-4 hours. The class ends in a month, and then you start spring semester. Technically you don't have to come for January, and you can go on cross-culturals if you want. Well, apparently I'm going to have my room to myself for January. It's going to be slightly depressing. I'm going to turn 21, and some of the people I was depending on to keep my drinking-happy friends away from trying to get me into that won't be here. It would seem that I will be spending the majority of my time in my friend's apartment, hoping that he'll make sure that everything goes ok. I really don't want to lose any of my friends, but if they try too hard to get me to do things I don't want to do, I will have to avoid them. And that sucks. I'm actually more worried about that than really anything else. It seems that no matter what I do or how far away I am from people, they still manage to involve me in their drama. This has happened so many times in the past year that it makes me want to scream. It's too complicated to explain, but I'm tired of people blaming me for things and involving me in their drama when it's not my business.

Ok, I guess that's enough of that for now. My thoughts are a little jumbled. Perhaps I will clarify when I don't feel sick, and when I have more clarity of mind.